Seems to Me . . . The Democratic debate


(Editor’s Note – Stan Welch’s Seem to Me column appears weekly on the opinion page of The Journal. This one is a day early for your enjoyment, or dismay, before or instead of watching the Democratic debate tonight)

By Stan Welch

I usually write this column on Tuesday, since the events of the day often lead to my choice of topic. I had considered not writing this specific one until tomorrow, Wednesday, even though that is press day, and I would really have to hustle to get it in. I was going to wait until then because the first Democratic presidential debate is going to be on television Tuesday night.

But the more I thought about it, the less reason I saw to delay. I mean, it’s not like Hillary or Bernie or those other two guys whose pictures are on the milk cartons are going to say anything new. The fact is that the liberal Democrats haven’t had anything new to say in a quarter century. And there is no other kind of Democrat.

So desperate is the DNC that they are giving Uncle Joe Biden until six o’clock tonight to show up if he wants to. This, of course, is despite the fact that he has yet to decide and declare officially that he is running. This is an absolutely unprecedented accommodation by the Democratic Party, and is a remarkable sign of weakness.

With that said, here’s a brief viewing guide for tonight’s debate.

Ask a Democrat any question about domestic American policy and their answer is short and simple: more government. Got a problem? Print a bunch of worthless money and throw it at the problem.

Ask about racial issues, and see whether they support law enforcement or a group that has called for the murder of whites and law enforcement. Clue: black votes matter.

Ask why voter identification laws, which are almost universally enforced across the planet, shouldn’t be enforced here. Clue: black votes really matter, especially the second or third time around.

Suggest that an organization that kills more than a million human babies a year in this country not be funded by the federal government, and watch them all cringe. They all know that federal backing, both financially and judicially, is crucial to Planned Parenthood’s survival. Female votes matter.

What should we do about the southern border? Clue: Mexican votes matter.

If you were president, would you defund sanctuary cities? Clue: Mexican votes still matter.

Do you think that the federal courts have any business defining marriage? Clue: LBGT votes matter.

Do you see any possible, feasible, legitimate way for every high school student in America to go to college for free? Clue: millennial votes matter.

What would that way be? Clue: don’t have a clue.

Ask who, if any, of them would refuse to allow Shariah law to be followed in America? Clue: Muslim votes matter.

Should business owners or government officials be punished for following their Christian beliefs in regards to gay marriage? Clue: Christian votes don’t matter.

Would you agree that the Affordable Care Act has proven to be unwieldy and far more costly than the sales pitch indicated it would be? Clue: Are you kidding? None of us are on Obamacare.

What is your view of global warming in light of recent evidence that there is no evidence of it? Well, Joe Biden says it’s real. That’s good enough for us.

Would you say that you put country above party when you decide on policies or how to cast your vote? Clue: giggles.

What is your view of Russian President Vladimir Putin? Clue: He seems like a nice man. His wife is pretty.

What are your thoughts about the Iran nuclear deal that Obama is trying to take around the Congress? Clue: They have no clue.

So these are a few of the issue that may, or may not, come up tonight. What you can count on is that nothing will be said about Benghazi, or e-mails or private servers. And when the whole debate is done, see if you can tell any difference in the candidates. Oh, wait. One will be wearing a pantsuit.

There, I’ve just given you back two hours of your life. You’re welcome.





Seems to Me. . .The Dem debate