Seems to Me . . . Happy New Year!


By Stan Welch

Well, the New Year is upon us and it’s resolution time. Personally, I quit doing resolutions years ago, when I realized that such artificial attempts at self-discipline are almost certainly doomed to failure; and therefore, doubly depressing.

No, as each year draws to an end, I prefer to look back, and list the things that really griped my tender parts, instead.

Pet peeves like people who think stop signs are suggestions, and long traffic lights are an imposition on their personal freedom. I lived and drove in Myrtle Beach for more than twenty years, and it can’t hold a candle to this area for careless, inattentive and just plain rude drivers.

And folks, if you need a car loan or want to refinance your home, do us all a favor and don’t use the ATM, or the drive-through window. Go inside, for crying out loud. The same principle applies to people who go to a fast food place and order lunch for the entire office, or for an entire family.

HEY! If you’re ordering for more than four people, get out and go in.

Oh, by the way, Wal-Mart? Why did you install 42 check out aisles if you were only going to open 8 at a time anyway? You could have put in twenty and been able to afford to pay cashiers to keep them all open all the time.

And to all the cell phone companies? If you spent half as much on building towers as you do on advertising, your coverage would be so good you wouldn’t have to advertise, plus the bills would come down.

On a more serious note, I am really sick of the gun control crowd who think that inanimate objects are to blame for the evil that men do. How long can you maintain an illogical and invalid argument and continue to have any credibility?( Insert liberal for the phrase gun control, and repeat.)

And I’d like to remind the adorable little animal lovers over at PETA that there is a food chain for a reason. If you want to surrender your spot near the top of it, that’s your business. I like it up here and I’m staying.

I don’t agree with torturing animals to develop sexier perfumes; but if some lab rats have to suffer to help find a cure for cancer or dementia, well that’s a pretty noble end for a pretty useless animal.

And quite frankly, when it comes to a turkey or a pig, I really don’t see much use for them except as an entrée.

While we’re talking about the food chain, can someone explain to me how this country can spend more than a trillion dollars a year on welfare and public assistance programs and still have one child in six going hungry? It also irks me to see Americans adopting so many children from foreign countries.

Oh, I know, celebrities have to save the world. Besides, that gets more attention. But I’d like to see the rest of us do a little more to save our own country and its children. No offense, Libya, and Argentina and Malaysia, but if somebody’s kids have got to go hungry, seems to me, better yours than ours.

Once we get hunger conquered in America – and wasn’t that what the war on poverty was supposed to do? – then we’ll work on feeding kids twelve thousand miles away, ok?

I know that few things get people’s blood pressure up faster than a five cent increase at the gas pumps, but folks, remember what you get for that money. If your car gets twenty five miles to the gallon, and a lot of cars do these days, then think of it as twenty five miles you didn’t have to walk to save three or four bucks.

If you really want to talk about expensive liquids, how about a two liter bottle of Coke or Mountain Dew? They cost over a buck and a half, which comes to three dollars a gallon, and they mix it up in a vat. Nobody has to explore or drill for it.At least gasoline doesn’t rot your kids’ teeth.