Seems to Me . . . Religious Freedom

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By Stan Welch

Well, President Obama continued to pursue his extraordinary distortion of the executive branch’s role in government last week by telling the Catholic Church that they would be required to provide contraception and abortion services to its employees, despite that organization’s historic and well-established prohibitions against those things. 

Appropriately, the church’s hierarchy, consisting mostly of its conference of bishops, went on the offensive, making it plain to Obama that he had kicked over a hornet’s nest. But having acted far outside the realm of any Constitutionally supported authority in the first place, our fearless (and clueless) leader proceeded to shoot off another toe by offering the Church an accommodation, an exception.

That missed the point by a wide margin, and proved once and for all that this President, in his arrogance and narcissism, really doesn’t understand the very structure of our government. His unprecedented use of Presidential appointments to circumvent Congress is perfectly illustrative of the fact that he views himself as above the other two branches – the legislative and the judicial.

The President has no authority to require anything of the Catholic Church, or any other church for that matter. And the implications of his actions are more far reaching than many of us realize. He has awakened members and leaders of all denominations and races with his intrusion into Church affairs and his trampling of the first amendment right to freedom of religion.

But perhaps even more importantly, he has outraged Catholics in the very states that he needs to win in order to have a second term. New York, Texas, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Michigan, California, and Florida are all sources of large electoral vote counts. They are also the home of large Catholic populations.

Good thinking, there Mr. President. Letting Michelle drive the campaign bus this week? Well, she just drove it smack over you.

In keeping with this new and fascinating campaign strategy of aggravating the voters, I suggest the following requirements be imposed immediately by Presidential fiat. Appoint a new czar, Mr. President, the czar of religious interference.

I would suggest that his first edict be to make yarmulkes illegal in public buildings and to require that synagogues and all Jewish employers serve bacon cheeseburgers in their cafeterias. I would follow that up by starting a new ‘cash for clunkers’ program to get all those old Amish buggies and wagons off the roads. Free Kias for everyone with a jawline beard and a funny looking hat.

Building momentum, I would then ban any Southern Baptist from watching SEC football on Saturday or NASCAR on Sunday. I would forbid Episcopalians to have committee meetings and Presbyterians to choose any vacation pre-destinations on Travelocity.

Buddhists would become Buddhists Light and Hindus would all be forced to open Burger King franchises. Sikhs would have to hide.

Muslims would be required to . . . never mind. They’re already doing what they’re supposed to be doing.

Seems to me this whole “I’ll handle the religious stuff in my spare time” thing has real potential. Go ahead, Mr. President. You keep preaching, and I’ll pass the plate.